I Am Healing

My recent trip to Egypt was extraordinary on every level.  Of course I simply loved being in a culture I had not experienced before: meeting the people, hearing their language and song, seeing their ways of living, eating the very delicious food.  Taking in the human history in these ancient inhabited lands was also inspiring; the many stories and icons of spiritual belief, the rememberings of pharos and their shifts in power over thousands of years, temples built over temples.  And the energy connoisseur that I am, my very favorite, life-changing events were those where the relics of time, the holy of holies, danced with my body, my heart and my mind.  In the temple of Sekhmet at Karnak, for example, the two-thousand year old Sycamore tree greeted me like a grandmother whose roots assured my own and sturdied me deep after feeling myself loosened with love by the healing energy of Sekhmet (goddess of compassion and strength) herself, and her consort of health Ptah.  Michael and I could not keep the tears of opening, of power, of transformation in as we were greeted there, nurtured there, changed there, forever.

Since my return, I have continued to feel my way of being in the world rearranging itself, my spine realigning, my older less-positive emotions, no longer having a comfortable place to reside, releasing.  The movement of Egypt has continued to heal me and bring my inner-greatness forth with grace and vulnerable courage.  I am so grateful for Her ancient lands and lessons of being human.  I feel like I've fallen in love and found a part of myself in it.

So grateful at the Temple of Sekhmet, Karnak Temple Complex, Egypt

I Am Healing

When I do this
I disappear,
deep inside.
Traveling
into
the
tunnels
of myself;
whirring through sensation,
emotion,
truth that calls
my attention.
 
I am healing.
Repairing.
Re-working.
Generating.
Cells and focus and feelings
creating what my body needs,
what my heart wants,
what my mind can help create,
when it knows how—the mechanics of healing.
 
And this takes time
and patience
and kindness.
 
(When I hurt sometimes
I can
get down
on myself,
beat myself up for not doing
better,
feeling better…
should have known better…
but I didn’t.
 
So now I am healing).
Cocooning,
my cave of guidance,
safe and warm,
without harm—
save from myself—
trying to
nurture the newness
that is developing,
happiness just
budding;
wisdom gained
through the honesty
of the hurting.
 
Yes, it is okay to hurt.
We all hurt,
have hurt before—we have this in common.
 
And, on the other side,
through
the fear and pain,
through…
oh,
we are going through
feeling…
letting it come,
tenderly acknowledging,
we find
how the magic sparks
inside.

to Living Sensual! 
Live in Love with Life
xo Piper

The Art of Patience: How It Works

We had a great class and group last week! There was a good question from  a participant that encapsulates the heart of the topic, so I'm answering it here:

“How do I experience more patience, exactly?”
 

Patience comes from TRUST. When we trust that what we want and need is coming to us, may already be present but for our lack of noticing it, then the pressure we feel to "make it happen," which can cause anxiety and lack, naturally releases.  

Trust comes primarily from two places. First, a strong connection with our intuitive heart and our highest source within, so that when we receive an impulse to act it is clear and we trust ourselves to follow what arises for us to do. Second, trust also comes from the collection of evidence that this source, Life, is creating on our behalf; remembering all of the situations, and connections, and resources that have appeared, been provided for us, when we needed them (from small to big, all of them count). When we gather evidence of this track record of Life providing what we have been focusing on, we begin to trust that it will keep providing, and we understand that what we focus on—with our mind, our heart and our body—is what will show up.  

So then, we develop patience and compassion with ourselves as we allow our mind and body to focus more on what we want and less on what we are afraid of. And you can trust that you are always growing and developing, that you are always getting better and stronger and more skilled; you have done this since you were a baby and you will continue to do this all of your life, including now, naturally.

The work of the Living Sensual Institute is to support this process of growth and skill within so that your body, mind and heart fully believe a new, more peaceful, more trusting way of being in the world—a way that gracefully supports your creation of the life you desire.

For more information on our upcoming workshop series: Creating the Life You Desire, go to livingsensual.com.

to Living Sensual! 
Live in Love with Life
xo Piper

Plenty and Her Three P’s

Walking the labyrinth at St. Mark’s Cathedral on Capitol Hill, my annual New Year’s Eve tradition, I was prompted by Beth Buelow, the renown Introvert Entrepreneur coach, to come up with my word for 2016.

            “Um, just one word?! ”  I said. 

Oh that’s tough. Just one word as a theme for a whole year. I have so many things I want to open to this year, and so much I want to accomplish… to focus on one that brings them all together.

It took some meditative walking, the twists and turns of the labyrinth guiding my body, heart and mind, until that word that holds the key to my intentions this year came beautifully clear: PLENTY.
 

Photo: Dan DeLong/Seattle Post-Intelligencer

Yes, I want Plenty of ease and grace; Plenty of health and strength; Plenty of play and joy; Plenty of time: time with friends and family, time for love and listening, time for work and focus in a way that feels fulfilling, time to care for myself and be good to others; Plenty of resources; Plenty of affection; Plenty of gratitude. I am really liking this word!

And perhaps because I am an only child, who most of my life longed for siblings, and I like to draw outside the lines, Plenty just had to have a few sisters join her for clarity, and the fun of it:

            Peace, Play & Pleasure

Intimately know and act from the center of myself = Peace
Take things lightly and look for the fun = Play
Gratefully enjoy all the ways Life is gifting me though my senses = Pleasure

With Plenty and Her Three P’s at the forefront of my focus, I’m feeling like I have a well-rounded palette to create the life I desire this year.

If you could pick one word that encompasses the type of year you want to have, what would it be?  Can you take Beth’s challenge and pick just one?  Do share, please!

Cheers to your loving and fulfilling year.

to Living Sensual! 
Live in Love with Life
xo Piper

Focus In On You

During a time of year when we can become nearly consumed with consumerism and all the buying of things to show our love—to others and ourselves—perhaps it may seem odd that I’m recommending you focus on you. 
 
The key part is the IN. Focus In = inward, On You.
 
When our internal guide, our intuition, is leading we can begin to be at choice around the well-promoted and executed external concerns of the holiday season: the size and quantity of our gifts, the pressure to be and say and wear just the right thing in our social engagements, and the wanting to make sure everyone is happy with our choices. With our intuition guiding, we can begin to be enough and be good enough just the way we are. Spending time inside ourselves we can find, and create, the love and acceptance we desire from our own caring hearts. 

This is the greatest gift we could possibly give ourselves, and others.
 
I’m not suggesting it is a piece of cake, this peaceful internal focus, although I wish it were. The impact of the holiday marketing plan—go into any store and the “buy more to be a star in the eyes of your loved ones and peers”—really can get to you, to me.

I started off this holiday thinking I would pot sweet and beautiful indoor plants for each of my family and friends I share gifts with during the season (this was an amazing suggestion from Patty Dobrowoiski, and something I enjoyed receiving from a close friend a couple years back). And then I went to a dear colleague’s artist studio sale, Terrell Lozada, and fell in love with her stunning creations, ceramics and paintings, all beautiful and expressive and brilliantly crafted. I decided I wanted to share these instead and felt good about it. Over the last couple days though, entering into a couple stores, or more, wanting to feel part of the holiday buzz and cheer, I started to feel like maybe this wasn’t enough, and I started to get a few other “small” things to add to what was already a lovely expression of my appreciation… because I usually give more. Have you experienced this type of gift buying add-on impulse?
 

© 2015, Terrell Lozada, Laddered, Maiolica, 10.5 x 12.75 x 1.5 inches.

Oh these external habits! They drive me crazy sometimes—especially when I get wise to them and still find myself repeating their offense. 
 
My intuition decides to give its perspective:
You are not these things. Your greatest gift is the authentic expression of your caring heart in connection with another.
 
RIght, I reply.
 
And I remember, again. I am able to give this greatest of gifts to someone else… the authentic expression of my caring heart… when I am able to give it to myself. When I slow down and focus inward, feel my body and my emotions, entertain wise, nurturing discussions with myself, then I am equip to make different choices that support the way I want to be in the world, one relationship at a time.
 
I am learning a new program in my body and brain, we all are, for how to choose to show love and appreciation. Sometimes this means going against my habit brain, feeling the fear that arises of not doing what has been expected of me in the past, and finding trust that I will be okay, more than okay, doing it in this new way that is light and loving, and in integrity.
 
If you find yourself feeling frenzied with all of the external holiday expectations, rather than work harder for motivation to get through and get it done right, try taking a pause with a deep breath. Close your eyes and go in, just for a moment. Listen closely to your heart’s desire for you. It will tell you how to love, honor and respect yourself, and demonstrate your care and affection this holiday season. From here, you get to decide if you want to follow.

to Living Sensual! 
Live in Love with Life
xo Piper

Tenderness

I spent many years focused on changing many parts of myself—my attitude, my will, or lack there of, my body, my sense of self-esteem, my overdoing in many categories of life, I could go on and on. I always thought that it was all my fault that I didn’t have it more together, wasn’t as successful as I wanted to be, wasn’t good enough. I was hard on myself, really hard on myself… and sometimes I still am.

Several years back I began to be more kind; I was always good to others, just not to me. One day, something sparked and a new way showed up, a totally new concept, being tender with myself, like the most loving and nurturing of parents would be with their beloved child. I began to cry. Me, I could receive this? I could be so kind and gentle and caring, to myself? I didn’t realize how much I had been longing, deeply longing, for this tenderness and true self-love.

It felt weird at first, hearing these nicer words, feeling more patient, gifting my body and mind with kind and healthy deeds. My heart began to stretch and open. Such a good thing, and unexpectedly it felt uncomfortable, a continuous dull poke as tension released; my heart and body had been so blocked before. I found myself shedding tears of sweetness, like when someone does something so very special for you and you can’t believe how lucky you are. My heart and mind were touched by this genuine kindness I was finding for myself, and my body was responding, transforming.
 

Soon, others were also being more respectful, more giving, more attentive. The care I was sharing with myself was effecting how I was being treated by others. I was experiencing the positive side of mirroring (mirror neurons triggering like-type feelings and behaviors in those we have our attention on and with). I knew much about this concept before but had only associated with it from the perspective of negative effects. How powerful and uplifting to realize that I could create positive outcomes in my relationships with others by treating myself well—an awesome added benefit.

Tenderness began to grow on me. I started to feel more comfortable with this way of being than I was with focusing my energy and attention on all the external problems and goals in my incessant need for approval—I was approving of myself. I found that I could be more successful in my work as well, with this softer, clearer attitude, and find humor in the process of learning through life’s bumps and humps versus cursing them at every dislodging; I felt safer with love for myself intact.

Today, this kinder way of being still asks for my discipline, the focus of my heart and mind, the act of nurturing myself. We live in a society that is driven by the outer effects and affects, by the pushing goals, the comparisons, the “keeping up with the Joneses.” It can happen in a flash, that old way of judging myself and soon I’ve been taken down like a black belt in karate; smooth, effortless, one perfect word or sentence and I’m face-planted, a not-good-enough again.  

Eventually, when I notice how bad I’m feeling, how stressed I am, I remember to step off the treadmill, slow down, breathe and come back home to myself. I remember to make time for the care, for the connection, for the kindness. A warm bath, meditation of one kind or another, a good book with uplifting words and wisdom, candles, good smells, healthy food, a cup of tea or lemon water and soothing music, or soothing silence. Back on track, I can then review what is going “right”, what I have done well. And for me, when I feel a swell in my heart, a small tear rim my eye, I know I’ve re-connected with compassion, and all is well.

My 93 year-old grandmother is known to say, “Getting old ain’t for sissies.” I would say the same of learning to love ourselves and open to the good in life. This learning is for the strong of heart. Your growth and fulfillment beckons your courage and vulnerability, both, making you the most amazing kind of gentle warrior for doing the personal work and claiming the beautiful life that calls you.

If you’re willing, take a moment to feel proud of yourself for all you are doing. Notice if you can let yourself feel this self-care, this tenderness, this gentle softening inside yourself. If it’s a bit tough this time around, try again, and again, with a calm breath to your belly and another to your heart—I love you to your mind. It will get easier to let your caring and kindness touch you.

to Living Sensual! 
Live in Love with Life
xo Piper

May Blessings Reign Upon You

May the life that lives you provide for you;
  may you have plenty to enjoy and share.
May your lips enjoy the splendor,
  your heart rejoice in the fare.

May blessing reign upon you
  in all forms filled with love.
May you delight in all connection
  come freely from above.

May your eyes feast upon the beauty
  of all that is brought before you.
May your belly be full of healing words
  as the countless bounty adorn you.

May blessing reign upon you
  in all ways you desire;
Touching the hearts you imagine
  would benefit and inspire.

Giving thanks for the modest,
  the humble and the meek,
  for the generosity and benevolence
  that shares itself upon your sweet cheek.

Giving thanks for all the blessings
  that reign upon you this day.
The gifts that come in abundance,
  hereafter, and for all, may they come
  to you every way. 

You are a blessing!

to Living Sensual! 
Live in Love with Life
xo Piper

I AM the Speaker of The Heart

When the past may call an old aching up from the trenches, remember the joy that lives everywhere, bringing your attention back to its love.

I am the speaker of the heart.

Hearing you, unfolding you through beauty felt:

Echoes in the emptiness summoning your love within.

Whispering through bright-blue petaled brilliance, well-formed suppleness, sweet bonnets upon your large leafy reaches.

Touch me. I am yours now. Feel me… I have been waiting for you to come back, to me.

Humble, lingering gratitude rests upon the minutes of my impassioned exhale. Lips left parted.

Thank you. I did not know I had been so far from you, until now.

These most intimate of moments reveal our love: soft sheaths awaiting the imprint of your caring touch; smooth tartness quenching the craving upon your tongue; summer’s breeze brushing the reveal of your skin; wet tears rolling down for letting it in.

The letting in, melting hardness, a slowed feltness.*

The Heart sharing quietly, tenderly, while the flame warms exuberant, reaching every atom of the beautiful being it knows is you.

May the memories of September 11, 2001 reveal the grace of love though its restoration and the connection of human hearts everywhere.

to Living Sensual! 
Live in Love with Life
xo Piper

* Feltness: The quality of being felt.

Tell the Truth

What’s to be done when the world is not treating you right? When the day is full of bumps and bruises, impediments to reaching the goal, the result, the state of being you are after?

Pushing forward seems to be the expected way – buck up, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, carry on. Oh, and hide your feelings while you’re at it ‘cause no one likes a crybaby, a loser who can’t keep their stuff together. Do you ever notice these programs running you when wrestling with struggle? I find them so ingrained in me that even though I know better they are still the initial inner voice I hear, the big brother of society’s sub-conscious sitting on my shoulder whispering to keep me safe and approved of.

What if, instead of hiding and pretending, what if we said, “It’s been a rough morning. For some reason I woke up every two hours in the night and then found my car broken into and my new I Pod stolen. I’m really feeling violated and bummed out.” I tried this approach the other morning. I told the truth amongst colleagues and clients, other career women at a monthly networking meeting. I let my heart be seen and felt and told the truth.

At first I was afraid of being judged or glossed over – of getting a cheer up girlie sort of response that usually side-swipes my feelings and ticks me off. But I did not. Instead I received many genuine ears to listen to my succinct, honest response to How are you? acknowledging the bummer of my morning. I was greeted with compassion and some great hugs too. Unfortunately, many of us know what it is like to be violated, in one form or another, and it can be freeing for the person sharing and listening, both, to exchange that open truth-telling. I’m not recommending a joint therapy session in the midst of networking, rather the simple honest facts of events and primary feelings.

What if we let ourselves do this, to tell the truth and receive compassion from others? What if we were not hooked in the loop of the façade of perfection? What if we trusted others to listen and have empathy rather than judgment? What if we really understood that we all have our up and down days and moments and that accepting this turns the peaks and valleys into rolling hills? What if?

I believe there would be a lot less stress and illness – cancer, heart disease, obesity, alcoholism, drug and sex addiction, anxiety, depression, etc. I believe we could become a more cooperative community again, the kind that could be depended upon. I believe social responsibility and creative solutions, on behalf of our selves, others and our planet, would flourish.

We need each other. Not to be the perfect image of those we see in the movies and on TV, in magazines. We need each other to be real, to be all of who we are in this beautiful human imperfection. We need the connection, the love, the listening, the honoring. We are feeling human beings – we have feelings for a reason – and we need to live in the safe space of honesty, recognizing them, responsibly expressing them, and allowing ourselves to be empowered through them.

Try it. Try being honest – whether elated or infuriated. The next time someone says How are you? tell the truth.

to Living Sensual! 
Live in Love with Life
xo Piper

Magic Horses

Just Trust.  What I want from you is to trust me. Words from my inner self to me, spoken into the open air of the horse arena.

As if heard by Life, by Spirit itself, Rohan then nuzzled me with his large, soft nose in a repeated, gentle up and down motion while my eyes were closed, deeply engaged with that discontented part of me that was speaking its need. He followed with a sweet tickling of my face, grassy-breathed, big, warm-winded sigh, an intimate gift of release as if to say, Yes, just let it go. Let all your worries go. Yes, you can trust.

All throughout my guided exploration in the arena I could feel Rohan’s conscious, strong presence. I so appreciated this four-legged creature of wisdom who leads his herd from his intuitive, male power. His example, his clear reassurance helped me let it all down, all the strife, and I did so with small tears of deep appreciation cleansing my vision.  Thank you Rohan!  You are the reminder I needed.

All weekend long each of the horses lovingly participated in synch with our energy, guiding and moving us to greater awareness, to our next best steps, individually and as a group.

Earlier in the morning, in the midst of calling in the directions, creating sacred space, Jewel lay her body down to the earth of the arena while the other horses stood protective watch – the ultimate act of submission to Spirit, to the work we all were about to adventure into. 

Later on in the day, one of us was trying to release a pain carried in his left lower arm, a pain that had appeared in connection to his fear of rejection, opposing his longing to belong. During his work in the arena, Dijon, the oldest of the geldings, tall and white, kindly sidled up on this man’s left side, rubbing his arm with his neck in a slow, soft, long bowing motion, committed to helping him release his pain, shedding his long white coat, a beautiful leave-behind that made us all giggle.

How do these amazing horses know exactly what to do and when to do it? How do they connect with such gentleness and care? How do they hold the heart of each individual and move it toward its purpose?

It truly is Real Life Magic! The horses, these special therapy horses, they are the wise, unspoken tending to exactly what you need. This is their work, and they are so gifted at it.
 

Feeling so supported, we stepped richly into the desire of our heart, the vulnerability, the excitement, the fear, the hope, and were met with encouragement, with answers to our questions, with compassion, and with opening. Healing was alive in us, Life was showing up in all amazing ways through the farm, each other and the horses.

As we closed the workshop, Grace, lead mare, gorgeous red presence of female stature and nurturing, having just finished championing one of us to step in and feel the presence of her feminine power, trotted with focus to advance to the front of the herd, ahead of Rohan, the lead gelding, to receive her hay-dinner. There was no fight, simply a bit of super-charge to take the point home. Grace was a stand for what was called forth, that it was now time for this person to allow and trust the feminine to take the lead. 

Just Trust.  What I want from you is to trust me. I think we all had a bit of that message running through our explorations at Red Tail Farm. And I believe I got it this time.

Taking my cue from the sage Jewel at the start of our magical weekend, I am choosing to surrender and follow as I am called. Jewel made sure I got this message with a pleasant grazing of my face, her cheek against mine, as I sat in our human circle sharing my big take-away from our time together –

Lay Down (my ego) and Do What’s Next.

Can’t wait to offer this wonderful experience in the future.  Watch for its next offering in our Upcoming Events.

to Living Sensual! 
Live in Love with Life
xo Piper

What Is Success?

In a moment of relaxation, glorious sun warming, cheer of birdsong playing, and then the whrrr of the large snaking freeways pushing, pushing themselves into my productive mind.  No longer able to just read and appreciate the last day of vacation, the cars keep poking at me as if to say: Where do You need to be going?  What do You need to be getting done?  Time to get off your lazy butt and make something happen.  Replies the inner whine, But I’m on vacation!  Can I not just relax?!

Relax.  Relax.  Can I really let myself when the list of things to accomplish is so long? Unrelentingly long.  And who made this list?  Me.  And why?  Why are all these items on my unending list?  Why are they each so bloody important that they have to be obstructing my moments of peace?

Because I want to be Successful!  At everything it seems.  And even though I know this is not a reality, the ability to be successful at everything, my socialized brain has this annoying habit of insisting on the importance.

In my well-trained mind success equals:
 
1. You come to my home and think it lovely, clean, organized, inviting = I am a Good Designer, Impressive Host, someone you’re comfortable with, you trust because I keep a nice home – “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” after all. There is some actual truth to this, peace of mind related, but we’re not talking about that right now, we’re talking about how I can sometimes care too much about what you and what others think.

2. You meet my child and notice how well taken care of she is, how kind and astute, the respect and love between us witnessed in our communication style with one and other = I am a Good Mom.

3. You see my companies growing, my awesome employees, images of my creative work, marketing for new classes, graphics savvy, writings on target, quotes from clients who have learned and grown so much through our work together = I am an Empowered Business Owner.

4. You meet my partner, handsome, well-dressed, great smile, kind heart, wise disposition, you notice how openly and lovingly we relate, the way we touch each other, look at each other, the classes we teach together, and the healthy boundaries we keep = I am a Wise, Enlightened Human, to have such a partnership.  Please know I really am exposing my backside, my vulnerabilities here.

5. You see me speak, powerful, eloquent, expressive, authentic, connected to you and the creative force that is leading me, presenting in stylish clothes – professional with a personal flair – just the right shoes, just the right words spoken, at the right time = I have so Got My Shit Together, am so connected to Life = Oy! How the ego can get caught and run amok, even in the most divine of territories.

And even if all of the above were true at times, and definitely not at others, my ego mind still gets hooked in search of the next tick on my measuring stick: How many followers do I have on Facebook and Twitter, on Instagram and Pinterest?  How many are coming to my classes, are knocking on my door begging me to work with them?  A good amount maybe… but not enough, according to the social media success-o-meter that equals whether or not a publisher will even look at my work, whether or not I am a super-magnet for more, whether I have created a viral impact stealing your attention from another focus, providing the magic potion for your own happiness and success, that you think I have the answer. 

And now I feel like crying.  Because, really, from this perspective, it’s all just too much.  Too much pressure.  Too much external placed on my happiness, my well-being.  Too much façade.  Not enough heart.  Not… enough… heart.

How to get myself out of this place, this rat race, this mind-mess I’ve swirled myself into?

Stop moving.  Slow the thinking. Pause. Breathe. Take in a moment of quiet to connect with Life. Move my attention away from this world of juggling mental craziness, away from the anaconda of freeways going here and there to accomplish this and that. Move my attention to one deep breath – breathe in to the count of five, hold for five and out for five.  And do it again.  Breathe down into my belly.  Breathe into my heart.  The space naturally gracing me with the focus on my breath.

No matter where I am, (car, office, home or bathroom stall), my breath begins to dissolve the grip of my whirling mind and helps me rejoin my body, the keeper of my feelings that I have been avoiding with all this action to keep me “looking good.”  Once reconnected with my body, with my heart, with my self, I usually have a good cry, letting all the build-up fall away from me, cleansing from the inside out, until the moment of stress dissolves into a hundred breaths and tears running through my heart into the rivers of the earth.  

Now my heart can start to drive again. Now I can get back to my thankful awareness of this magical pulse in the world.  Back to leading my life according to my intuition, back to trust, back to the clear “what’s next” that guides me through my greater purpose, to the bigger vision I am holding; all my actions getting me there in perfect time.

My heart cares nothing for the pressures I have created in my mind.  My heart cares only about this moment, cares about being with it, and being with you, right here, right now. 

So what is success?  On the freeways of life leading us in so many different directions it still feels good to check things of my list, but in a way where my connection to self, others and the planet stays intact, where my heart leads my mind and body.  It is my great desire that our collective success is a series of caring, valued, authentic partnerships where what we do and say is an honest contribution for the betterment of each other and our world.

To Our Success! 
to Living Sensual! 

Live in Love with Life
xo Piper