Sometimes

Sometimes you have to scream.  Sometimes there is no other solution – nothing peaceful, nothing nice, nothing graceful to fix it – the scream is all there is. At the top of my lungs, as loud as can be, a reverie, a release, alone in the coffin of the car, safe from catastrophe’s assumption and reaction.

A shrill, “Nooooooooooooooo” lets go into the fore-folds of the near silent air. “Noooooooooo.  No. I don’t want that.  No.  I don’t want it that way.  No. This is not me, this is not my good.  No!”  Declared over and over again making sure the Universe has heard me clearly, “No.”

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A whaling cry sometimes follows.  Emptying.  Letting go of all the pent up trying and trying.  “No.  I don’t want to try anymore.  Not this way.  Not this game.  I am done.”  I throw myself over to the gods because I myself cannot do it any longer.  “You.  You do it.  You make it work.  YES, You!”

Sometimes No MUST be the stand before Yes can land, before yes can find its home.  No makes room for yes and the scream, well sometimes, just sometimes, the scream, as loud as it can get, until there is no more left, sometimes the scream is best.

to living sensual, xo Piper